~ click image to make biggerer ~
mosquitoes touch down
stagnant water bends inward
breaking the surface
The tight skin holding in his life burst. The tense membrane over his existence ripped like the placenta at his birth.
He tried to follow the rules but never to the required perfection. The drugs and alcohol never numbed him enough to get him through the days. The inadequacies of his life haunted him awake and asleep. He had lived like the shadows on the screen of an old television set.
Remembering the tranquility of a previous death, he went wanting nothing more than peace.
Write a haiku based on the week’s theme. “The basics: Haiku is simple!
It is 3 non-rhyming lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively
(a great way to use your fingers!)”
That was a bit mOre than a hiaku... but I guess when one has a story to tell, a haiku may nOt be enough words... That first paragraph is amazing...
ReplyDeleteLove the haiku. The second bit was chilling.
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ReplyDeleteHmmm interesting and eerie at the same time. Great haiku. I'm belting back a woo woo on this one. :)
ReplyDeleteshadows on the screen of an old tc set...nice. i agree this has a creepy darkness to it...i like it.
ReplyDeleteI love the sense of a person you can create with such few words.
ReplyDeleteYour haiku was brilliant. I am jealous now.
ReplyDeleteYour story was a bit chilling and lots of sad. Very well written, though.
This was quiet serious. Almost sad, or melancholic...
ReplyDeletexoxo
I love the flow of words in this post. Kind of sad, but touching. Have a wonderful day, Nessa :)
ReplyDeleteI sit here staring at the screen with mouth agape. I so know that story. This was an amazing bit of writing.
ReplyDeleteGreat haiku! And wonderful writing. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteScary looking mosquito!
ReplyDeletevery clever take on stress and the writing after was awesome! Go Nessa!
ReplyDeleteLike your Wed Haibu, Nessa. Who'd a' thought about a misquito on the scummy water? Just Nessa.
ReplyDeleteMine is about my pony, here,
Jim's Little Photo and Poem Place.
..
I ran right from one piece to the next and ended up with a suicidal mosquito.
ReplyDeletepowerful and haunting stuff (enjoyed it)
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteBTW- just that picture caused me stress!
nessa, a mosquito as a subject is something that only a highly creative mind like yours can think of. and you came up with quite a brilliant piece, nessa!
ReplyDeleteExcellent, excellent, excellent! How talented you are, Nessa!
ReplyDeleteThat touched my heart in ways I have a hard time thinking about. Wow. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLove your way with words! And clicking on the image to make it larger was fun because, hey, that's the BIGGEST mosquito I've ever seen!
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