Monday, April 27, 2015

Good, Bad, or Ugly: Everything's a Competition for the Most

“How are you?”

“Tired … “

“Oh, you have no idea what tired is. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. My knee has been predicting snow off on and on while the dog has been barking at three in the morning at who knows what. The cat snores like a sailor and the neighbors can’t go in and out of their house without slamming the front door. My boss is a bear. I had to work a double shift so I’ve been up since nine yesterday morning … Why don’t you ever talk to me?”

Sunday, April 26, 2015

There's a Boom Deep in My Heart That Has Nothing to Do with You

~ click image to make biggerer ~

We drank a rich, deep, moon wine under the dark sky. Our moods matched the hint of smoked oak in the spirit and the violent wind buffeting the glass enclosing the porch where we sat.  

“Thunder makes me feel alive.” I wasn’t really talking to her. I would have said the same thing and said it out loud even if I were alone.

“I hate thunder,” she said, breaking the spell I was under. “It scares me.”

And that’s the difference between us and why we never really connected.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

No Such Thing as an Early Morning Riser or a Late Night Party Pooper

Pale pink petals litter the driveway, nature’s party confetti turning brown at the edges. The squirrels sit in the crooks of tree limbs, quiet and resting in the afternoon sun. Mother Nature wakes from her Winter nap, up but not yet fully alert.

Comparing the seasonal clock to the daily clock, we’re talking about eight thirty ante meridiem. I guess She doesn’t drink coffee or maybe she ran out because She’s a little sluggish this year.

By now, the dogwood would be in full cherry blossom style and the robins would be fat and happy. Instead, the dandelions are curling their faces away from frost and I’m wearing holes in my sweaters.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Meow and Tweet are Words of Love in Different Languages

There's a cat that lives on our block. His name is Fred. He's black with white spots or white with black patches. I guess it depends on your point of view. Fred doesn't care much one way or the other.

Like most toms, all he cares about are the birds. There’s one that he's been after for awhile. He's been chasing her for months and can't get his paws on her.

She dances just out of reach. When he pounces, she takes flight.

I think they are both quite happy with their situations.

She has a perpetual admirer; he has a goal for which to strive.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet but Not If You Have a Foot Fetish

Some people have lots of shoes. My mother loved shoes. She bought them even when she really couldn’t wear them because they hurt too much. I don’t understand the need to buy things that are meant to be practical but have been engineered beyond their usefulness.

Maybe I’m just too cheap but a closet full of shoes I never would wear holds no appeal for me. I can see them in a catalog (that’s a paper thing that stores used to put out to show off their merchandise - for those of you below the generational divide) and appreciate their beauty the way you might look at a painting but they take up a lot of space and collect dust.

Plus, if you actually wear them, who has the time and energy to decide each day which pair to wear. I get exhausted just thinking about it. Aren’t there enough opportunities to make mistakes without adding the burden of what to put on your feet? What for? How often do you look down?

I’d rather go barefoot.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Hi, I'm a Control Freak, How's Your Day Going?

I open the utensils drawer and find the knife sharpener. It doesn’t belong there. My day is ruined. It takes me days to recover, to make my way out of the deep, dark abyss I’ve been plunged into by one careless act.

You laugh. You scoff. I can hear you. Don’t try to hide it.

I know I’m a wack-a-doodle.

The world is a dangerous place and the only way to feel safe is to have these rules and habits that lull us into a sense security. Order in the small things can lead to order in the greater world.

You mess with these rituals and you risk bringing about the end times.