Monday, July 31, 2006

Dancing at Lughnasadh

It’s Lughnasadh Eve. I planned on preparing for tomorrow’s First Harvest celebration by getting some fresh ears of corn and blueberries, both locally grown, but all of the farm markets were closed on my way home from work: too hot for them to stay open all day. I’ll go out at lunch tomorrow and get them. Instead of baking my blueberry corn muffins in the morning (with kernels of corn shaved from the fresh ears), I’ll do it tomorrow night. I’ll pick the ripe tomatoes and fresh basil from my own garden for a salad. I bought a lottery ticket today and I will actually check the numbers tomorrow. If you don’t hear from me, I’ve run away. No actually, if you see me blogging all day long and late into the night, you’ll know I’ve hit it. Oops, sorry, I digress into one of my favorite fantasies.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, thanking Mother Earth for her bounty. This is the time to really enjoy fresh fruits and vegetables: wallow in the excess of produce. We can really enjoy the fresh abundance while even knowing the Sun has begun its decline into Fall and then into the dead of Winter, where the Oak King rules. Life feeds death and the cycle continues.

As the moon is waxing to full, it’s a particularly good time for gathering in the abundance around us, physically and spiritually. What seeds have you been sowing over the last few months?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


I promised Quilldancer that I would post something before the day was over.

I’m having voracious dreams. I wake up totally exhausted because I have such adventures while I sleep. I fly, swordfight, make friends with dragons, do magic, change shapes and sizes. And everything is in bright colors and clear sounds. How am I going to get rest this away?

I have always been like this. I can’t take any form of sleeping pill. Bugs crawl under my skin and the dreams are even more outrageous. I don’t need to take acid to take a trip.

Part of the problem, of course, is that I really enjoy my dreams. I try to sleep extra to finish them, I direct them while in half conscious states, and I concentrate on having certain ones again.

Do you think there is a job out there where I could get paid just to dream?

Thursday, July 20, 2006


I drove to the park today on my lunch break. Located less than five minutes from my office, the park offers me a midday haven from my hectic, boring job. I putted over there and took a much needed reading vacation. (I hear you say I should have been walking at the park instead of reading, but I already walked this morning before work, so Nah.)

I sat with my cup of tomato soup in hand, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich waiting and my little novel. I parked in the shade of a tree to take advantage of the cooling effect in our heat wave. A few cars dotted the lot. No other people were around.

I read book five, Dread Mountain, of the Deltora Quest series by Emily Rodda. It is a children’s book. It has excitement, clever little riddles, and adventure. With short chapters, it is easy to put down and pick up, making it perfect for an hour’s getaway.

I lost myself in the strange creatures our trio met on their quest. I laughed at the idea of sitting in the pouch of a kangaroo type beast while it flew with great leathery wings. I pounded the seat when it appeared that Doom may be a bad guy. I shuddered when I found out Lief’s father rotted in prison. I cringed when the baby Kin fell to earth with an arrow in her heart.

I looked up, my heart beating rapidly from all of the drama going on in the pages of my book and I saw an elderly man standing in front of me. He had his shirt off, pot belly and man boobs jutting into the breeze, with sweat dripping from his brow, pitts and tummy. Talk about ruining a good high.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Did I Hear Someone Say Shit?

I woke this morning to the news that my president got caught cursing while speaking with Tony Blair. At first, I couldn’t believe what I heard, but then I wasn’t really shocked. The video revealed a rather nonchalant comment. By reading his lips, I could tell the word wasn’t a particularly bad one. When asked to comment on being caught using a four letter word, our fearless leader just shrugged and grinned.

I don’t know about you, but I like a man that is not afraid to be himself. What’s wrong with a little curse word now and again? Tony didn’t appear upset. He didn’t even bat an eye. I bet he’s even used worse words. I’ve used worse words. And I know you have, too.

He has already been reviled by a country singing female trio, people make fun of him on the internet all of the time, his parents cry every night because their sons just aren’t too bright, enough is enough, with the unimportant stuff. People should just lighten up on the man. Let’s face it, his language skills should be the least of our worries.

Did you see him chew and talk with his mouth open before he got caught cursing? His table manners are atrocious. Now, that’s something to lose sleep over.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Annie Get Your Gun

Mom One and her seven year old son stand in line at the sliding board waiting their turn. As the boy starts to climb the ladder another boy cuts in front of him, while his mother stands by smiling.

“Excuse me, but my son was next.” Mom One whines.

“Well, now my son is next.” Mom Two says with a smirk on her face and arms crossed in martial style.

Mom One appears on the verge of tears, and then an idea forms in her head.

Mom One rushes in her wimpy Mini Van to a special car dealer. She purchases a big, battle-ready, ATV. She charges out of the driveway with a purposeful look on her face. You can just hear her thinking, “I’ll get you now, beeatch.”

What is the moral of this story, children?

Friday, July 14, 2006


I didn't mention that Sar at Belle Of The Brawl made me her Reigning WPW Inspirational Blogger for my Spiders post. I am honored. And I got a crown.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Keep On Dancin'

I woke at 4:14 this morning. My eyes popped open and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Since my alarm rings at 4:30 anyway, I figured I’d just get up. What’s the first thing I WANT to do? Go online, of course. What’s the very first thing I really do when I wake up (after I go wee-wee, that is)? I start drinking Diet Coke to help my brain start functioning. After that, I decided I’d be responsible and do my chores first, then I could surf all I want without guilt (at least until it was time for work.)

I emptied the dishwasher. I filled the dirty dishes into the dishwasher (I luvs my dishwasher: I never had one before.) I put the wet clothes in the dryer. I gave the dog fresh water. I made my husband his lunch (if I don’t pack his lunchbox, he won’t eat and then he gets cranky. Plus, I have to keep him alive to pay the mortgage. See how responsible I am.)

My husband left for work at 5:30. I now had one whole hour to play without interruption.

I started using Firefox last night. It really is much better the Explorer, but I have to get used to it. I imported all of my favorite bookmarks. The list is getting really long. I have met the most fascinating people by visiting their websites.

I love to read the posts and the comments are always such fun. I add everyone I read to my list and then go through it top to bottom, reading them all. And because I like to get comments, I always leave one. Not always witty or interesting, but just something so they know I was there. All of this takes bucket loads of time. I watched the clock as I read. I wanted to finish the list before I left.

But before my hour was up, I started doing the pee-pee dance. I sat wiggling in my seat, trying to keep reading. My eyes began to swim, my teeth clenched, I bounced up and down. The dog thought I was nuts. And I guess I was, because I nearly wet my pants before I finally gave up and shut everything down.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


Tears stand at the back of my eye balls, unshed at this time because I am at work. My settlement on the sale of my old house was scheduled for this Thursday. I hadn’t heard from anyone, so I thought I'd check on the status of the sale. I called the buyer's realtor. She said everything was going ok; she just needed to hear back from the buyer’s mortgage company. Plus, I needed to get the certificate of occupancy done, ‘cus they thought I was gonna do it. They said they were going to do it in the beginning even though the seller usually does it. I’m feelin’ warm and fuzzy now. I called my realtor to double check that it wasn’t done. She didn’t know nuttin’ ‘bout it.

Low and behold, it was not done. In our town, the certificate is done by the fire department. They check on smoke detectors, carbon dioxide detectors and fire extinguishers. My daughter is a fire fighter and her boy friend is, too, plus heÂ’s a certified inspector, so no probs. I set this up as soon as I got back from getting my husband a new phone battery. Done.

Then, I check my voice mail messages. One is from my realtor. The buyerÂ’s realtor just called her. The seller recently made a bunch of credit card purchases, which threw her credit rating into a tail spin. Now, the mortgage company will have to redo her mortgage which will take another two weeks. This upsets me a great deal because the buyer is a twenty year old girl who seemed very responsible. She was our papergirl. She asked for the chance to buy our house and said no one else would give her a chance. So I gave her a chance. No good deed goes unpunished.

I am very depressed. I had just told my husband last night not to count his chickens before they are hatched: anything could happen until it is all over. I really hate being right. It sucks great big hairy ones. (ThatÂ’s spiders for all of you with naughty minds.)

PS. And now I feel like a total ass because a friend's eighteen year old daughter had a tonsillectomy today. She just now called work hysterical because her daughter is in intensive care becasue she had lost so much blood that they had to pump her stomach and they won't even let her see her daughter yet. And I just found out from someone else that her husband quit his job yesterday. His company offered him a $15,000 a year pay cut, so he walked out. Instead of accepting and then using his personal and vacation days to look for another job, he quit.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Follow the Damn Directions

Apparently, there are people in the world who have not experienced the little Follow Directions Worksheet that I received in fifth grade. This lesson taught the importance of reading the documents you are given, in full, and then actually doing what they tell you to do, the way they tell you to do it.

I am amazed at how few people follow directions. Everyone thinks he is a rebel, but I am here to tell you that not paying attention is not rebellious, it’s stupid. And if, by some weird chance, this is your way of being rebellious, then accept the consequences of your behavior.

Case Number One: An employee wanted Direct Deposit. I gave him the form, which is a simple one page affair, and what I got back was hideous. Besides not filling in the required information (he wrote his routing number and account number on a scrap of paper the size of a matchbook and submitted that to me) he had actually scribbled on it. He scribbled where he should have signed. I mean really. And he had also failed to give me a voided check or bank letter. I gave him back a clean, blank form. I high-lighted in many different colors the pertinent instructions (he obviously is a video game baby), I wrote additional instructions and gave him back his previous submissions. I got all of the papers back, the only change being that he signed the new form. He left for vacation to Vegas. I called him on his cell phone to tell him that his Direct Deposit would not be going through. He told me it was absolutely necessary that it go through as he had written checks and mailed them based on his paycheck being automatically deposited this week. I told him it couldn’t be done as he did not follow instructions. He said he didn’t know he had to follow the instructions. I asked him why he would think the instructions were unimportant, as I even highlighted them. He said he didn’t have to do any of this at his old job. Oh, and this person is in college. I am sad for our future brain trust.

Case Number Two: We fired our newest office clerk today. We fired her because every time she was asked to do something, she copped an attitude. I wrote a detailed job description for her position. I gave her the job description and went over it with her. The things she was being asked to do were on the job description. And the person with whom she got the most attitudes with the most often was the person who signed her paycheck. DUH!

Case Number Three: Another employee, long-term, called out the day after the 4th of July holiday. When she came in on Thursday, I reminded her that she would not receive the holiday pay as she did not work her scheduled day after the holiday. She had a fit (with yelling and screaming and slamming things.) This policy has been in force for over ten years. She has received numerous employee manuals where the policy is clearly written. She is still trying to get me to pay her, her excuse: she didn’t read the manual.

Not reading: not an excuse. Thinking something doesn’t apply to you: priceless.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thursday Thirteen Virgin

Thirteen Things about Vanessa

1. I have one husband, one daughter, one mother, one father, one brother, one great-nephew and one dog.
2. I have two nieces, two sisters-in-law (one’s an ex) and two personalities (I’m not an attention seeker like Sybil.)
3. I believe in the sanctity of three. Three strikes you’re out, things come in threes, three friends are a bad idea, three as a balancing influence and three as a way to create tension.
4. Is boring.
5. I have my first Diet Coke of the day ay 5 am. I only drink diet Coke. I will go thirsty before I would drink a Diet Pepsi.
6. I usually get home from work at 6 pm.
7. Seven makes me think of heaven, which I believe is like being cradled in Mommy and Daddy’s arms and held and hugged for as long as you want.
8. My God is multi-dimensional. Yes, call me a pagan. One day God is a Woman, one day a Man, maybe a Child, or a Tree or a Flower or whatever I need at the time.
9. I have been with my current employer 9.5232876712 years. I need and want a change.
10. My birthday is in October. I am a Libra.
11. I have eleven fingers and toes. No, that’s not true, but it would be cool. I’d have better balance when walking and I could hold onto my wine glass easier.
12. I like reading, writing, drawing, painting, crocheting, quilting, beading, relaxing, the color green, my mother’s spaghetti sauce, Amazing Grace played on bagpipes, The Renaissance Faire.
13. Thirteen is my favorite number. On July 13th, I close on the sale of my old house.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I Think It's Monday

I got tagged by
Jax to do this meme. I did
one similar a while back.

I am thinking about...lunch...
I said...funny stuff yesterday...
I want at home...
I wish...I had lots of money...
I hear...the fax machine going off...
I wonder...what it would be like to be self employed...
I regret...not going to art school...
I a good mood today...
I dance...when I’m happy...
I key...
I cry...over phone commercials...
I am not always...honest...
I make with my hands...obscene gestures...
I write...something, no matter how mundane, everyday...
I confuse...myself and others on a reguar basis...
I need...a vacation...
And…It’s already Wednesday, but not yet Friday.

I found this one at Professional Redhead

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year).
3. List three events that happened on your birthday.
4. List two important birthdays and one interesting death.
5. One holiday or observance (if any).On October 2nd ….

1187 - Siege of Jerusalem: Saladin captures Jerusalem after 88 years of Crusader rule.
1928 - The "Prelature of the Holy Cross and the Work of God", commonly known as Opus Dei, was founded by Saint Josemaría Escrivá.
1950 - The comic strip Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz is first published in seven US newspapers.

1452 - King Richard III of England (d. 1485)
1951 - Sting, British musician and actor

1264 - Pope Urban IV

Roman Catholic Church - Memorial of Guardian Angels

If you want to do these you are tagged. If you don’t want to do them, so be it.

I am reading the children’s books by Emily Rodda. I am starting with the Rowan of Rin series. They are lots of fun. They are easy summer reading and short enough for my tired brain and short attention span.

There’s only two more days until the weekend. I am not going anywhere and I am not having company. I can’t wait: two whole consecutive days at home.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Monday, July 03, 2006


The heat dropped from the sky and bubbled up from the ground, creating a vise of misery. Haze shimmered in abstract curtains all around the travelers. In front of them, opulent, vibrant flowers in reds and yellows blinded them after the unrelenting mirror of the desert sand.

Great palms stood sentry around a pool directly in their path. The trees created shade that appeared black and bottomless to their aching eyes. The water called out to the adventurers. It spoke of refreshment. It whispered cool delight. The pond spoke promises of relief from the grinding heat and relief from their troubles. They staggered towards the water, tongues hanging out, imagining the taste of the sweet nectar. They expected it to be a dream, a mirage that would disappear once their hope had revived.

They tumbled into the shade of the trees, hitting the ground. The temperature of their bodies began to drop. Crawling on all fours, they struggled to reach the edge of the dessert spring. Each inch seemed to take an eternity to travel. The sand here near the water was soft and as inviting as down feathers. They were tempted to lie down, pillowing the sand under their heads.

Thirst drove them on. Within a few feet of the water, an odd stench wafted towards them. It began to burn their eyes and choke their throats. It smelled of rotten eggs swimming in a bath of vinegar and rancid milk. They forced themselves to the brink of the water despite the smell that made them want to retch. They reached the water, looked into its depths and saw the empty eyes of drowned animals looking back at them. They added their meager tears to the fetid water.