Sunday, July 16, 2006

Annie Get Your Gun

Mom One and her seven year old son stand in line at the sliding board waiting their turn. As the boy starts to climb the ladder another boy cuts in front of him, while his mother stands by smiling.

“Excuse me, but my son was next.” Mom One whines.

“Well, now my son is next.” Mom Two says with a smirk on her face and arms crossed in martial style.

Mom One appears on the verge of tears, and then an idea forms in her head.

Mom One rushes in her wimpy Mini Van to a special car dealer. She purchases a big, battle-ready, ATV. She charges out of the driveway with a purposeful look on her face. You can just hear her thinking, “I’ll get you now, beeatch.”

What is the moral of this story, children?


  1. That just because you got big brass balls it ain't gonna hurt less if someone kicks ya?

  2. Reminds me of the time I got to the ramp at the beach to pull the boat up, only to farm a 4x4 blocking the way. We looked around for the owner, nothing, tooted, nothing. I thought I'd get his attention by driving up to his and started pushing with my 'bigger' one.
    Somebody got up and came rushing over, out of breath.
    Fortunately he was a friend of a friend so even though I was tired, and spirits were a little agitated we didn't come to blows.

    I say fortunately, for me.
    Next day I saw him driving one of his father's smaller JCBs - and he is the type of guy who would not have thought twice of driving right over me.

    Needless to say, I've grown up since.

  3. Jenn: An ATV is an All Terrain Vehicle. Most are normal size cars/trucks, but the one for this commercial is the great big one that starts with an H ( which was originally an Army vehicle, but now suburban commandos (people who can't take care of themselves, but must buy their balls) are into them. Their commercials make me mad.

    Q: When I say this commercial a gun immediately came to mind when she purchased her truck.

    I don't think you should let people walk all over you, but your power should come from within yourself.

    And sometimes you should just let things go. You know, pick your battles.

  4. Yes, what mom one should have done was kneel down to her son and say, "Honey, I know I always make certain you're considerate of other people, so it confuses you when they aren't considerate of you, but try not to blame that little boy. His momma can't teach him manners because she doesn't have any. We should feel sorry for him."

    Note: DON'T kneel with back to momma #2

  5. Quilly: I like you style. As always.

    Nessa: Gosh I thought an ATV was some sort of gun. OK I realise why you are so pissed off. What an ad!

  6. Bigger the vehicle better the revenge? :)

    Jenn now you know why i want to buy that Scorpio! :) Vanessa a Scorpio is an SUV here in India!

  7. Grey: You don't NEED a Scorpio. And you just said, you'd be bored of it in like a month! Save that money and come see me.

  8. Quilly: Your answer is a perfect solution. I have used this tactic occasionally and it works well. Most people think no one will say anything about their behavior and get quite flustered.

    Jenn: Yes, a gun. And we have such a bad gun problem in this country.

    Grey: Thanks for stopping by. And I think Jenn is right. It have much more fun visiting her than buying a bigger car.

  9. Nessa,

    One day a woman at our church was ranting and raving loudly during an after worshop potluck because we spent about $3000.00 on a 4 day revival and only one new member joined the church. People were agreeing with her (!) so I stood at the other end of the table and said, "Excuse me J?" And when most people fell silent I asked, "What is the going price on a soul these days?"

    That ended that discussion. I even got a thank you from the pastor. Thanks for stopping by my Christian blog!

  10. Glaciermeow: Quilly did have a good comeback (as is the next one.)

    Quilly: Another good one. Your responses are to the point and direct, yet not mean. I like your site. It's very happy and pleasant.

  11. this is a commercial? I don't get it.

  12. Moral of the story: Don't mess with mums who have disposable incomes and know what ATV's are.

  13. uisce: Yes, it's a commercial for a Hummer.

    Guggs: Yes, disposable incomes can buy you anything apparently.

    Q: Yes, we all wish we can just erase the pain.

  14. The moral of the story for me is to not marry a woman like her. Will that do?

  15. Ahh but grunt -
    if you had to choose between the schoolyard bully bitch who thinks she and her 'kind' own the world, or the pretty 'mild mannered one' who goes out and hires the hummer, just to give her a gentle reminder of realiy ...

    which one I'd rather be stuck with?

  16. Yep Vanessa, some pain can be erased,
    some pain people wanna keep living with, and some like spreading the pain around just because they are in pain. All the world is a stage!

  17. The Grunt: A lesson well learned. No one needs a partner that will spend $60,000 to solve a playground scuffle.

    Q: Best look for neither of those two.

    Yes, ole' Bill knew where fore he spoke.

  18. Vanessa, There is a Third Way?

    I'm glad to hear not all women are subdivided into two groups
    (1) Beetch, and
    (2) I'll get you back beetch

    So there is hope for me then:
    I've been searching hi, searching lo for one not already happily paired. lol!

  19. Hey Vanessa yeah say that I want to buy a bigger car (cause you got to have one to drive on Indian roads and not let ppl take you for granted) but then I kinda know that I'll be saving that money and visiting Jenn eventually! :)

  20. Q: There are some women who are not quite so one dimensional, but they do require more work than the other ones.

    Grey Shades; I understand the need to be respected on the road, but visiting Jenn is a much better option.