Friday, April 26, 2013

Flash 55 - Wine, Women and ...

Wine, women and ... a sentiment first written of in fourteenth century Persia advocates Hedonism. Who can argue with the idea that an individual’s ultimate pleasure is the highest good that can be achieved? Certainly not I, bubala. In fact, I suggest you spend this weekend pleasuring yourself. How are you going to finish the phrase?

I had a great time with friends last night. We sat on my front porch, drank some wine and chatted for a couple of hours. Definitely a pleasure that must be repeated soon.

Did you see the beautiful full pink full moon last night? It wasn’t pink but orange when I looked at it. It’s called pink (in North America) because of a flower that blooms this time of year signalling the start of Spring. This was the first lunar eclipse (partial) this year but we couldn’t see it in the Americas. I hope you made your offerings to the Goddess. Pink is her favorite color. The next lunar eclipse will be May 25th and we should be able to see that one.

My new couch did not come yesterday. You know, you just can’t trust anyone. The salesmen made this big deal about the delivery date being yesterday and when I called customer service to say we didn’t get our call, what time are they coming, I was informed it was back ordered and not due until the 30th. Then, I looked at my sales slip and lo and behold, the delivery guarantee was for sometime before May 28th. My bad for not reading carefully enough but I’m still going to complain. Their verbal shenanigans still constitute a contract. Good thing we didn’t throw out the old one in this week’s trash.I want my damn couch.

I’m writing like a maniac to get to my 50,000 before the end of this month and have the first draft of The Salt Lover’s Book of Magic done. I’m getting close. It’s times like these that having a semi plan beforehand really helps. I’d be in trouble without it.

My husband, QV, thinks I’m nuts. I just told him he has to drive me on 295 to get photos of a farm I saw in passing a couple of weeks ago. I want to do a painting of it. I figure it’s safer if he takes me rather than my trying to take pictures while I’m driving 65 miles an hour. I’m such a responsible adult, aren’t I? Children don’t do this at home.

Another bright sunny day here in the ‘hood. These little birds keep attacking the screens on my front porch and living room windows. They hook their little feetsies in the mesh and peck at something, maybe bugs. They sure are having a good time, whatever it is they are after.

Oh, oh. We have a boat. QV had bought this nice little motor with his father years ago. They had it in the garage of one of his father’s “girlfriends” for years, even after QV’s father died. She tried to get QV to do some”work” on her house because this motor was stored there. I encouraged him to remove his engine from her garage (*giggles* intentional because I’m twelve.) So he sold it to this guy for $800. Well, now the motor is attached to this cute little boat and we are buying motor, boat and trailer for $1,000 bucks - really just $200. Can’t beat those numbers. I’ll be floating on the Delaware soon, so beware.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Chocolate Corruption

Chase down your passion like it's the last bus of the night. ~ Terri Guillemets

"Color Me Sunny" 20091115 (c) vanessa v kilmer
acrylic paint between two panes of glass

Passion, though a bad regulator, is a powerful spring. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Color Me Sunny" closeup 20091115 (c) vanessa v kilmer
acrylic paint between two panes of glass

I learned something with great force yesterday - the people who make the most noise get what they want which is a shame because they are so often the ones who are in the wrong.

Nothing is without corruption. I read a post about the evils of chocolate. Michelle Dennis Evans pointed out in her article that there is very little Fair Trade Chocolate on the market. “Chocolate that had been farmed by children as young as seven who are treated like slaves, deprived of an education, who may never see their family again, who have been stolen and forced into horrendous situations.” From her article Bitter Chocolate ~ Compelled to share the sweet message with informative videos. There’s even an app. Please check it out. You can go to Fair Trade USA for more information.

90% of all Americans are in favor universal background checks for gun purchases. The final vote in the Senate was 54 in favor to 46 opposed to a watered down bill for universal background checks. Who the fuck do our Senators represent? Clearly not the people of this country.

The sun is shining here today. The blossoms on my dogwood tree are sparkling like reflections on a rippling lake.

QV is fixing the roof with his roofing buddy. The previous owner had the shingles put on backwards so rain was seeping into one of the dormers.

Later, when it warms up a bit, I’ll go out and take some macro pictures. There’s a class coming up the end of May at our county college on Photography I want to take. I think it’s about time I learned what I was doing instead of always winging it. There’s a photoshop class right after on the same day that I want to do also. I’m having a hard time waiting for it.

After getting a moment of fresh air, I’ll spend the rest of the day writing. I’ve got lots of catching up to do. I’m hoping this coming week will be free of unexpected occurrences so I can write. I need to be more demanding and selfish about my time. I allow myself to be so easily sidetracked. Tomorrow morning I will get back to the routine I set up and which has yet to become routine.

QV and I ordered our couch on Friday. It will be delivered this coming Thursday. It’s a leather sectional. I desperately wanted a new couch. The one we have is disgusting. It’s also cloth so The Codes hair is imbedded in the fabric. I wanted leather because I figured the dog hair would be easier to clean off. We will still need to cover it so his nails don’t puncture it. I should try to keep him off but after twelve years of bad behavior it seems unfair to try to change him now. He’s getting so old that when we leave now he’s reverted to puppy behavior and looks for things to chew up because he’s mad at us for leaving him alone. I told QV that there will be no more pets after The Codes. I need a bit more freedom.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Flash 55 - Visual Vexations

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Stunning, jolting, shocking -
the balloon’s ascent mirrored my emotions 
as I celebrated my birthday. 
Riding in a wicker basket 
five hundred feet in the sky 
supported by hot air 
wasn’t my idea of a good time. 
Yet the quiet blue of the heavens 
calmed me 
until my path was blocked by 
the high voltage wires.

A couple of weeks ago, I got sick. I had a horrible hiatal hernia attack which lasted about 12 hours. During those hours, I threw up so much (think of The Exorcist demon) and so often that my ribs and stomach muscles ached for a week and a half afterwards. It also messed up my system so that I couldn’t look at any electronic screens (TV, computer, kindle) without getting dizzy and nauseous. I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything (everything except cream of wheat smelled bad.) I think I screwed up my blood sugar levels. I love fried onions but apparently they REALLY hate me. I’m devastated.

Yesterday, I repotted all of my house plants. They are much happier. Three of them were only roots windy round and round in the bottom of the pots they came in. I’m a neglectful plant mommy. I want to set it and forget it. I think plants should be able to water themselves. That’s why I also made two terrariums. Plus, I can make little fantasy lands in my big glass cookie jars. I sort of winged it with these two (one has a cairn and the other has shiny glass stones.) If they survive for a month, I think I will do another with houses for fairies or maybe mini cars and tiny dinosaurs.

QV has gone back to work. It’s all night work, so we are having an interesting time adjusting to our days and nights being upside down. I don’t care as long as he’s working. He was starting to grow roots in the floor of the house. His mental health tweren’t doing so hot. And he was beginning to hate me because I’m a bossy bitch and being home with him all day, he had no place to hide.

I’m very far behind on my NaNoWriMo Summer Camp. I’ve only got 8,431 words of the planned 50,000. I can still make the deadline. One year I wrote more than 30,000 words in the last two days of November for that year. I’ve got ten days to write the balance. That’s 4,156.9 words per day. Easy-peasy puddin’ pie.

This past Sunday, I went to Washington’s Crossing with my parents and The MM. On the ride there, I saw a farm that has given me another idea for a painting. It had three buildings set at radically differing angles, each plane a different pastel color, placed in the middle of waving golden grasses. I worked out how to construct my niece’s painting so it wouldn’t be too heavy and still look modern. Plus, I got two more “sun” ideas, one which will be made from toilet tissue rolls and the other made from bamboo skewers. The paper spider mum will just require that I begin and see where it takes me. I can see the final version but not how I got there. It will be a free floating wall piece all made out of paper.

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Oh, My Papa - Happy Un-Birthday

Happy 82nd Un-Birthday to my Father. 
The man by whom all other men are measured.
Here he is at the park today 
with his two great-grandsons.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Tough Love

* journal post - comments closed *

A slow start yesterday. My mind did not want to write at all. And I was a bit thrown off my game because QV is back at work and it’s the night shift so our schedules are changing again. I decided to clean out and organize all of my current writing materials.

My How To Think Sideways binder is cleared out of unrelated items and streamlined so it’s not so heavy. My notebook is all up-to-date through Lesson 5 with notes, annotations and indexes. The worksheets have all been noted on the lesson contents sheets. I have done every part of the new Ultra lessons and picked out the Quick Fixes I will use more often.

I did two maps which you can find HERE. The Middletown map is for the series and the Hallton map is for TSLBoM. I kept them loose so I can find surprises that my Muse, Fiona, can play with. I have some cool things worked out for my three main characters and worked out a key plot element that I couldn’t seem to solve before.

Today will be a writing day, especially since now I am one day behind when I hoped to be one day ahead. I do have ideas written down to jump start the day’s writing so I should be able to catch up easily.

I have to go grocery shopping for my father’s non-birthday party on Sunday. Other than that, I won’t be going anywhere. In between writing, I’ll take cleaning breaks. I hate housework and I have to trick myself into doing things by breaking all tasks down into fifteen minute jobs. I look at them as ways to get up off my ass so my butt cheeks don’t atrophy. Got to keep the circulation going. Need the oxygen in my brain and it won’t get there if it gets stuck in the bend of my lap.

Last night, I dreamt I hung out with gamers and I kicked their asses which is pretty funny since I don’t generally play any kind of games and I’m really bad at video games. I lived in a dorm with a bunch of guys. We were housed in the backroom of a restaurant. I got stuck in a mini-toilet room sort of like an airplane toilet but smaller. After that I ran around through the restaurant and weird space age hallways with a stick that I used to hit people over the head. I was the best stick hitter in the world and people considered it a good luck thing if I hit them. I always had a bag in my left hand (the stick was in my right hand) but I have no idea what was in the bag. I just knew I had to keep it with me wherever I went. The bag went with me from dream scene to dream scene but the stick did not. I did a lot of running in my dreams last night and woke up exhausted. Does this count as exercise?


Flash 55 - Rule of Three

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look ahead
your path is strewn with trinkets to find
baubles and gems and ring pops
ready to be plucked, pocketed and licked
look up
there are stars to stop from falling
planets just waiting to be terraformed
and aliens who want to be friends
look ahead
look up
but don’t forget to
look inside

Thursday, April 04, 2013

Maps for tSLBoM

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map of Hallton c. 500 BCE

map of Middletown present day

Did You Ever?

* journal post - comments closed *

I was reading and commenting on some blogs yesterday and I ran across this one person who has been around for a while and she’s still up to her old tricks. I think she never saw Bambi because she never learned, “If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all.” She used to harass me here on my blog and other places we visited in common. She thinks she’s so clever and perfect (you know, above us mere mortals) but she’s just a bitch. It was so hard not to say something when I read her comment about someone else but it wasn’t my blog and I didn’t want to start a war. As you can see, I am still obsessing over it. I have to keep reminding myself not to send evil thoughts her way. The Threefold Law can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Moving on...

We took a spur-of-the-moment trip to visit our camper. It was such a bright and sunny day. Our campground opened April 1st so we wanted to make sure the trailer survived the winter in tact. It did. I got some great shots. We found out the site was sold on Good Friday. Hopefully the new owners will make some improvements. Dead trees need to be culled. Lots of people left last fall but most of the people we like stayed. We like it there because it’s a relatively small campground so it’s kind of like a summer village. We met the new caretakers, a brother and sister team named John and Jamie.

I am right on target with my writing for Camp NaNo. I’d like to get ahead because I will be busy on the weekends and likely get very little writing done with The MM here. He likes to take over my laptop to watch Angry Birds and Wreck It Ralph YouTube videos. He likes watching the young boys that demonstrate the new toys and build the Lego Star Wars sets. I can’t wait until it gets warmer so we can go outside and play. Our kids are so obsessed with their electronics.

I didn’t do my How To Think Sideways worksheets for TSLBoM. I will do them today. And also Lesson 5 which opened yesterday. I’d like to get at least 4,000 words written today. 6,000 would be better but I might be pushing it since I feel so sluggish today. I picture Jabba the Hutt every time I use the word sluggish.

Somewhere in between all of my writing, I must get the house clean for company. Luckily, I’ve been picking up each day so all I have to do really is dust and vacuum. When you get rid of stuff, cleaning is a whole lot easier. I am definitely going to follow the less is more concept of living. I’m trying to practice the same idea with my mind because I am so easily distracted and thrown of course into tangents that don’t get me anywhere I really want to go.


Thursday 13 - viridis

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"viridis" 20130403 (c) vanessa v kilmer

Green is my favorite color. 

Here are 13 shades of green from nature:


Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Optimism R Us

* journal post - comments closed *

Yesterday was a good day. Today looks like it will be better.

I had a very pleasant breakfast with a friend Tuesday morning at a diner I had not been to before. I want to go to new places and do new things. It’s good for the soul. We got caught up on our lives. I am so self centered that I was astonished at how much things change for other people. It was quite eye-opening. I really do need to get over myself.

It was so much easier to get my word count for CAMP NaNo. I wrote 1,699 words in under two hours. Monday it took me almost eight hours to get the same amount.

QV was up and about. He’s eating again. This stomach virus going around sure is a mean one. He should be going back to work tonight. Here’s hoping.

I got caught up on all of my reading for Holly Lisle’s How To Think Sideways. It’s a writing course I am doing. It’s also a life course. There are all kinds of techniques that are applicable across the board. It’s helping with my procrastination and all kinds of bad thinking habits. If you decide to check it out and get it, I think there’s a referral program, so please tell them I sent you.

Anyway, I read through to Lesson 4 of the new Ultra. Did all of the new Quick Fixes (which are short, fun and very useful) and got my worksheets ready to work on for today. And I am ready to start Lesson 5 which opens for me today. Quick Fix #3 already gave me 844 words towards today’s goal so I am halfway done there. I might even be able to move ahead since I will be busy this weekend.

The MM will be here Saturday and then on Sunday, I will have my whole family over for my father’s non-birthday. He will be eighty-two and he does not want anymore birthdays. I told everyone to wrap his gifts in Christmas paper and we will sing Jingle Bells instead of Happy Birthday. He has become obsessed with gambling in his old age so we will all give him scratch off lottery tickets and we will do some betting on Sunday’s car race. I’m making pork schnitzel for dinner. Schnitzel is his favorite food. It’s a lot of work but hey I’m not working so I have the time.

Oh, I almost forgot. Fiona, my muse, gave me the “original” name of my demon/god in tSLBoM last night while I was sleeping. I’m not going to tell you what it is but she was quite clever and it feels very right. Fiona is the best. She’s a small garden fairy (small enough to fit in pockets and ride around in my bag.) She has strawberry blonde hair which varies in length depending on her mood. She has green eyes and creamy white skin. She has green gossamer wings that change color as they move in the light. She smells like cinnamon and cloves. I had pushed her away for many years but she has taken pity n me and come back.


Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

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AECHMEA 'Primera'

Scared Happy

Yay! I completed all of the tasks on my list yesterday, especially my 1,667 words on my novel. (I got the number wrong in yesterday’s post.) It was a struggle to get those words down because I kept trying to make them perfect. Not good. But I did get them done. And all in between taking care of QV (got him to eat and drink and take a shower while I changed all of the sheets), did laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, and put away the Easter decorations.

I stayed up until 22.00 last night. Since I got laid off, I’ve been going to bed at the same time I used to when I worked, around 19.30 most nights (sometimes I did stay up until 20.30but not often) and then sleeping until 07.30 so that’s like eleven hours a night. That’s a bit too much. At first I needed it, but then I found I was waking after about six hours of sleep and staying awake an hour or two and then sleeping again. So, too much. I haven’t stay awake until 22.00 in years. I used to be a night person before I had my daughter and went to work every morning.

It took me about an hour to wind down last night. I was quite agitated. I thought I was having a panic attack. I looked at the feelings instead of trying to suppress them (my new behavior) and I discovered that it wasn’t fear I was feeling but excitement. I haven’t felt excitement in so long that you can understand my confusion. It took me awhile to figure it out because I couldn’t understand why I was afraid or why I could be afraid but since fear has been my constant companion for a good ten years now, maybe even longer since it came on so gradually, I couldn’t conceive of it being something else. This looking at myself is an interesting experience and contrary to what I used to believe, I haven’t died from the examination.

One of my dreams last night was particularly disturbing and very different from any I’ve ever had before. I was watching a group of kids for some reason. Three of them went off to play near a brick townhouse with a front stoop. Two of them carried the third back. He wasn’t moving and they brought him to me so I could fix him. His head was completely smashed flat and they thought I could blow on him and inflate his head like a balloon. Somehow I knew that the two boys had flattened his head with a big rock but they insisted they didn’t know how it happened. I can’t get the image of the pancake head out of my head.

I am going to meet a friend for breakfast this morning. Another thing I haven’t done in ages. I’m excited about that. We’re meeting at the dinner up the street where I have not been yet.


Monday, April 01, 2013

Foolish Monday

* journal entry - comments closed *

Rabbit, Rabbit! No April Fool’s Day here. I don’t like pranks. They always seem mean to me, no matter how tame the prank. It just feels wrong to intentionally make someone feel like a fool. It’s like bullying to me. I have always had good ideas for pranks, though. Like for today, I thought it would have been hysterical to walk into my old job as if nothing happened and see how people would react. I once worked with this guy who used to pick on me and make comments about how big my boobs were. He was a big, goofy sort of guy. I went out and bought a huge bra and attached it to the bumper of his car. When he discovered it, he quit. I was seventeen. He was twenty-eight. I felt so guilty, I never took revenge again. I still feel guilty over it.

I’m really curious about how such ingrained and deep feelings of guilt are developed in a person. I think I have more guilty feelings than is normal. It’s excessive. I wonder if it’s a certain kind of self-centeredness. I feel guilty over everything and think that I am responsible for affecting the entire world around me as if I had control over everything.

I didn’t get my book done by the end of March. I didn’t do much of anything on my book. I have lots of excuses which is not good. Yes, things happened that were unexpected and took up lots of my time but if my writing is going to be my business and not my hobby then excuses won’t fly. All successful people have consistent persistence in common. It is the number one key to success.

It’s Camp NaNoWriMo this month. If you want to play with me, my username is goldennib. I will write 2,667 words per day on my book to reach the 50,000 by the end of the month. I know I can do that. One year, I wrote 30,000 words in a fifteen hour writing day. This is no joke. I will NOT waste this opportunity.

We had a lovely Easter. It was pleasant and the boys were excited. There were so many Easter gifts it was like Christmas. I got a beautiful plant for my sun porch from my sister-in-law and one of those AsSeenOnTV Flex-Able Hoses from my parents. The boys hunted for 132 eggs. They got kites and bubbles and tons of chocolate. We had ham with cheesy potatoes and green bean casserole for dinner with peachy Ruby Relaxers for cocktails. There were four different desserts. We have way too much food at our celebrations. It was so good, though.

QV didn’t go. He caught a very bad stomach virus. He was up all night Saturday night. I’ve finally gotten him to drink ginger ale when I got home last night and through this morning. He seems to be keeping it in.

I have the windows open. I love fresh air. It feels like it’s been years since there’s been any in the house.

My father’s 82nd birthday is Saturday. We are having a non-birthday party for him at my house on Sunday. He doesn’t want any more birthdays. I thought it would be fun if we give him his gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. He has become a bit of a gambling addict in his later years. He loves scratch offs. I’m thinking we can have a casino day.