Thank you all for your concern. The picture in the previous post is an aloe plant that was sitting in the backyard in the rain.
So here's my rambling, whining explanation of my poem.
I don't handle stress well and most of my stress is self inflicted. I am really very shy. I require tons of alone time to function properly. I have a tendency to worry situations like a loose tooth. I used to run from things I didn't like and now I have a hard time deciding when to walk away. I have been at my current job for over twelve years and I am mad at myself for not wanting to be there any more but the fact is the place is killing me. While I am more than capable of the work, it is not what I want to do. I feel guilty for not being more grateful and accepting of what I have but I feel chained by these things. I am mad because I feel like I am not appreciated and yet I am always asked to give more because I can. I have begun more new projects this past week which I know are in essence a great waste of my time because they won't make much difference in the grand scheme of things and yet they will eat up the energy I need to work on the plans I have made for the changes I want before my thirteenth anniversary and I never have enough recovery time so I was very miserable and cranky by the time Friday rolled around. None of the things I do to help manage stress (journaling, walking, meditation, deep breathing, praying, art, etc.) help with the tension. They just help to highlight how miserable the work/job makes me and that I need to get out because the cons are big and many and far outweigh the pros.
Aren't you glad you asked?