Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wednesday's Child - Is Full of Woe

I’m going to be babbling, so I ask your forgiveness in advance.

It’s a terrible thing to be unappreciated, as I’m sure you will all agree.

My boss does not appreciate me. I have worked for him for over nine years. I currently handle, among many other things, payroll. Today, he gave a raise, to my exact salary, to a woman who has no education other than a couple of semesters at college. She is our bookkeeper. She didn’t know anything about bookkeeping, until I taught her. She works fewer hours than I do. She is 20 years younger than I am, so has 20 years less experience. When she encounters anything new, she still has to ask me how to do it. She is very nice and I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve her raise. I don’t begrudge her the money. I’m happy for her.

What has upset me is that I should be paid more and I am not. I have a BA in Elementary Education, with a minor in Art. I have a Computer Programmer Certificate. I am a Certified DER. I am the only employee he has who has consistently learned, on my own, how to do every new task that has come across my desk. I have over 30 years of varied experience in the business world. I write letters to lawyers that back them off. I have written employee manuals that are better than ones written by trained individuals. I routinely give my boss advice that is right on and would save him thousands if he’d listen to me right away. During my last review, he asked if I didn’t think I made enough money.

I have talked to him about this. His response was that the company was not making enough money to give me another worthy raise.

So, here I am. Sad. On the verge of tears. Ready to quit, NOW!

But I can’t. I have responsibilities at home. I will keep my mouth shut and quietly look for another job. He will know that I’m not happy, because he’s not stupid, just delusional. I’m pretty sure he’s on drugs, whether prescription or otherwise (another story.) I am definitely not happy. I really like the people I work with for the first time in my entire life, but the company is too small and my pride too hurt to put up with this.

I know he is not my friend and I’m taking it too personally, but I do. I’m not a very good self-promoter. I feel he should see and know my worth after all these years without me having to badger him to get what I deserve. Nothing pisses me off more than being taken for granted. Nothing. When that happens, I am done.

And as has happened in previous situations, I will get a call after I’ve left, telling me how wrong he was to treat me so, but I will have moved on and he will no longer matter to me.


  1. Whoa. That sucks some major ass. I totally see where you are coming from. Did you mention to him the little gem about the bookkeeper getting a raise? Or is that hush-hush. What an asshole.

    Yeah, I think you have a good plan. Idle until you can find another job - somewhere where you are appreciated and not fed a line of BS.

    Best of luck!

  2. I completely understand how you feel. Sometimes I watch other people get "positions" they are not entitled to and I cringe. These are the people who have made it a point to kiss his arse on a daily basis. Then I asked myself that question, if I have to kiss HIS arse to get noticed, I'd rather not.

    I'm sure he will realize what a jerk he is. My superior did, I made him know by asking him why the other person got it, and not me (and he couldn't come up with a good reason.)

    Hang in there.

  3. I know I am a pill but I have to say it, just because it is the way I am.
    Not ok, no
    Is this what you want your daughter to do?
    Just take it?
    I am not, by any means suggesting you go bitchcakes or anything.
    But respectfully and reasonably point out exactly what you have said here.
    That is insane and wrong.
    Don't just take that.
    You are being mistreated, you are teaching an employer that mistreatment is acceptable.
    Stop it.
    Think out what you want to say,
    write it if you need to,
    and go talk to him.
    Like, THIS week.
    If you can't justify doing it for yourself, do it for your daughter and for all the women in this world working their asses off and being unappreciated.

  4. Jeez, your boss really knows how to give the shaft. I'm sorry that he is too up his own ass to realize what a great employee he has in you. I hope that you find a better job. This company doesn't deserve you.

  5. that's not bloody fair!! i say you have an amicable confrontation with your boss. its just not ok that he gets away with this.

    and yeah, keep looking for another job. although its just not fair that you need to adjust your life because one d***head. grr! these things make me so mad.

  6. I know exactly how you feel. Best thing is to find another job and then leave. That asshole will very quickly realize how valuable you were. But the sad thing, if he's like most bosses (especially George W), he will never NEVER admit it. But you will know inside, and that has to be enough.

    I am not a self-promoter self-deprecating lutheran midwestern upbringing never taught me how to do that. But I'm working on it. I'm not a religious person, but all of these slick, greedy, back-stabbing, rise-to-the-top, corporate skills are just so antithetical to what I learned in Sunday school. So how do you make peace with it all? I'll be damned (ha ha! pun intended) if I know.

  7. I totally TOTALLY understand how you feel. :( I'm sorry to hear you're in that situation. I hope that both you and I find the courage to change that situation (I'm somewhere similar, but I've got nowhere near as much experience as you do:) But I'm very unappreciated at work). I'm a hopeful person...

  8. Oh man..I know exactly how you feel. It sucks!! And sometimes I wish I could live without needing to be recognised for the stuff I do. Would save me so much heartache!
    It's just sad that your boss doesn't know what a great employee he's got. I say 9 years on if he still doesn't see you for how great you are, then he definitely never will. Most certainly time to move on me thinks.

  9. Thank you all for your kind words and advice.

    Dorkette: Yes, major big fat ass. Unfortunately, he’s the one that gave her the raise.

    Güggenflürgen: I admit I’m not an ass kisser. I live under the misapprehension that as a business owner he’d like the truth. I know stupid.

    Logophile: You are not a pill. I believe in what you are saying and I will speak up once I’ve calmed down a bit and made my own plans. It is important to be assertive, but before I start I must know where I am and not deal for my emotions.

    The Grunt: Thanks. He is up his own ass. He’s not the man I originally went to work for nine years ago. All things change.

    Pink: I will speak to him, but I will continue to make other plans. My moving on has been brewing for a couple years now. This was just the last straw, as the saying goes.

    Jege: Funny you bring this up. It’s because he knows I play by certain rules that he gets away with this. He knows that because I do payroll, I am torn about knowing what people make. If I didn’t do payroll would I be upset. I doubt it. I know the business is not doing very well so he knows I wouldn’t normally ask for more. Because of this, is it right for me to be upset because someone else doesn’t care for anything but themselves?

    Jadzia: Good luck to us both, we deserve better. I’ll be thinking of you.

    It’s me: It is hard to live in a world that only appreciates hard results. Bigger paycheck, large chunks of money, big houses, big cars. I like to think other things matter but I feel like I’m deluding myself.

    Maybe there comes a point where we know someone too well. He’s a salesman and a really good one, so he made me believe.

    Unfortunately, after nine years, I have found reality doesn’t match the pitch and these passed three years have gotten worse. His choices and decisions have been crap. I think I’ll end up being the first to jump ship, but not the last, which is unfortunate. But he won’t know until it is too late.

  10. Hang in there Nessa. You know you're good. Even without his validation.

    You have spent all this time propping him up instead of looking out for yourself.

    Atlas Shrugged (at least in the Ayn Rand version). So should you.

  11. Jenn: I am feeling better now. I know I behaved in good faith, so I can be proud of myself. Karma, baby, happens to us all.