Thursday, June 01, 2006

Warning - I'm Crazy

I alternated between self hate and universal hate all day long. Since I woke up and grudgingly rolled out of bed, the world hated me back.

I posted some comments this morning and the blogs' owners magically erased what I wrote. They hate me.

My dog wouldn’t go out side to pee the second I told him to go. He hates me.

I picked at a pimple on my chin and it bled. I hate me.

I fantasized about running my car into the asshole who thought about pulling out in front of me.

I cried about the deer carcass on the side of the road.

I cried about the dead orange cat.

The phone hurt my nerves every time it rang. No one shared good news.

An employee’s wife walked into my office without asking. I felt knives shoot from my eyes and embed in her chest, followed by my soul’s rapid trip to hell.

A co-worker took my frozen dinner out of the microwave before it finished cooking. I hate men. My lunch sucked.

My daughter’s laptop needed a $16 keyboard. Will the grinding responsibilities ever end? I can’t take the constant need.

My mother thinks her cousin’s new boyfriend sounds nice. Well, yippee, friggin’ doodle for her. Nobody loves me, but who gives a crap?

My boss can stick his job up his pant leg and spin. I’m running away to join the circus where freaks go unnoticed.

My husband joined Thirsty Thursday at his friend’s garage. They can all drown in a vat of hops for all I care.

I repeat over and over, “Tomorrow will be different,” as tears stream down my face and I pray I can get the car safely in the driveway.

Lightening flashes all around the house and rain pours down spurred on by gusts of wind. I feel better now. Please disregard the insane woman who borrowed my mind today.


  1. Awwww poor baby. I love you, for what it's worth.

    All the way from over here.

    Skip work and let's go have tea in some fancy tea joint and take our notebooks and write.

  2. good you got it all of your chest. it was just one of those godawful days when the universe seems to be conspiring against us.

    like you said, tomorrow will be better. so have a good night and wake up feeling better.

  3. When do you want to run away and join the circus? I'm in.

  4. Well, it just so happens that the insane woman who inhabited MY mind over the holiday weekend can totally relate to the bitch that took over your mind.

    To wit: I cried at the sight of an elderly man getting his mail; I cried upon hearing "True Colors" sung by Eva Cassidy; I ripped an Office Max clerk a new butthole; I told a service rep at Dell customer service to suck it; and, last but SURELY not least, the ice cream, brownies, beer, cheese, and chips overfloweth from my dwelling.

    I feel your pain, sister. Tell that crazy beeyatch not to take up residence in your head for any extended periods of time. I invite mine over once, maybe twice a month.

  5. Yeah, I want in with Guggs on this deal too. Circus!

  6. If I could get it from Ohio to Jersey without it melting, I would share my ice cream with you.

  7. Vanessa! I am checking on you to make sure you are okay!


  8. i am sorry i hate when that happens i hope you feel better soon!

  9. Sweet Lord, we might be the same person. My insanity, however, persists for days.

    Nay, months.

    Glad you are on the mend.

  10. I think it's a virus going around Bloggyland. I've been in the exact same state lately... on and off. One day, I'm happy as a doggie with two hoo-has. The next day, I'm meaner and uglier than Medusa, and everyone must feel my pain.

    I think we all need a vacation. And lots of margaritas. And ice cream.

  11. Thank you all so much for your concern and kind words. A couple of times a year, I get pure acid hormones, flowing through my veins. I can feel them infect my mind. When that happens, I hope nothing important needs doing and then I hide within myself until it passes. Reminding myself that I will be full of energy and extremely mild mannered for days afterward helps me cope.
    You all are truely sweet. Thanks. I love you, man!