Saturday, August 07, 2010

Holy Mackerel

~click to make biggerer~

My husband, Quiet Vinnie (who is Irish and German [not Italian] and the reason why beer is a huge part of our home budget) turned 50 this summer.

I showed my love for him by letting everyone know he’s ancient. He did not care for the 50 fish in our front yard. He said it was because he was worried about our lawn irrigation system. He said the metal posts could puncture water hoses in the ground. I didn’t buy it. I think he was mad because so many people finally knew for sure that he’s a cranky old man, and not just cranky. Oh, I kid. Well, maybe not. Since QV thinks the internet is evil and never goes online, I can say anything I want about him. Cool, huh? It’s actually a shame he doesn’t blog because he’s very funny but he IS ancient, as I said, so he mistrusts all this new fangled stuff. He’s been telling “When I was a kid…” stories for 20 years already.

We had a big party for him on one of the hottest days of the year (99.7 degrees.) We were surprised that so many people showed up and then stayed as long as they did. The party began at 2 pm and ended at 1:30 am. I haven’t stayed up until 1:30 in the morning on purpose in forever. I felt like crap the next day.

We have a house designed for parties. In the back yard, we have a big bar that is covered. It has two ceiling fans. The trees are very mature (like QV – giggle, giggle) that shade our stone patio thus reducing the temperature in the back by about 10 degrees. There is an outhouse with running water. And a pool. This is where the trouble began and the inspiration for my floor show.

The kids went in and out of the pool and in and out of the house the way kids do. The floors in the kitchen are stone tiles. Combine these circumstances with my smooth soled flip flops and me rushing around like the most excellent hostess that I am and you get a big bang to rival the the original version. Good thing I take my calcium regularly and my ass is well padded.

I didn’t even know I hurt my elbow until some nice person pointed it out to me during the humiliating aftermath. The picture from yesterday’s post was taken the next day. It looked much worse as the days went by: the blues, greens and blacks spread all around and up and down my arm. The swelling was impressive. I still can’t straighten my arm all the way which helps me get out of housework, so I am happy.

That’s the story of how I became damaged goods.

I am ok. Nothing broken. I thank you all for your concern. And I thank you all for continuing to visit even though I disappear off and on. You all are the bestest ever!

5th Sister – Yes. I was completely sober. I know that is just wrong which was why I was punished by going boom on my bum.

Brian Miller – I was going to get more snacks for the people who were drinking. It was over before I knew it. The thing that got hurt the most was my pride.

Jeanie - I made a very loud noise when I hit the floor.

Thom – I was so busy I never made it to the Woo-woo’s. That was the problem.

Alice Audrey – I wasn’t feeling klutzy until afterwards but I will do anything to entertain my guests.

Quilly – The writing is going slower than I had planned. I am behind schedule. I am about half way through the first book.


  1. You wait for your birthday...I wonder if they have butterflies.

  2. Wow, you not only fell but you fell in a big way in front of a crowd. It sounds like the party was a big success.

  3. Happy Birthday to you husband. If he is cranky now, I hate to tell him what it is like at 60!

    That was some fall you took. Was your booty black and blue as well?

    Your house is wonderful and sounds like a bit of paradise in the back yard.

    I loved the fish in the front yard. Did you rent those?Be careful abour Karma.LOL!

  4. i would sugget booking other party entertainment next time...smiles. glad you are not hurt too bad...anything to get out of housework, eh?

  5. That is way beyond the call of duty. Sounds like a great party, though.

  6. Thank you Nessa, for explaining the picture below. If you had not posted today I would have no earthly guesses where in the world on you that bunch of skin came from. It doesn't look like an elbow but then.
    Thank you too for peeking in on BOTH blogs. I am putting more on the P&P Place lately than on the journal.

  7. Yay Nessa...awesome post..what a fabulous read..I am giggling and delighted at your advntures! thanks for sharing always!

    And thankyou for you lovely words and visit!yay
    Have a sparkling day

  8. if the rest of the party was as quirky as the yard, you must have had a great time (minus the fall)

  9. Happy belated birthday to QV, and sorry to hear about your fall, and your bruise..Ouch..

  10. I think your husband pushed you quietly on the sly because of all those fish and the ancient remarks!

    Yikes Nessa. I'm glad you're not visiting NZ at the beginning of December. All the ancientness might rub off on you. ;

    I hope your elbow gets better soon. I have to admit I winced when I read about your fall.

  11. Water and stone floors - recipe for disaster, I hope you heal soon - the more time passes the more aches and pains you realise. Take care - and analgesics - and lots of rest. Bless the man ;-)

  12. I'm thinking this story is a bit fishy!

    I keep your blog on my feed reader and I am just happy to see you whenever you decide to come out and play.

    I am waiting to read that book!

  13. 50 Fish in the yard!?! What a fab idea - my husband is lucky that we live in a condo. ;->

  14. Well, your husband is a baby really at 50! No age at all!
    50 fish!!!!!!!!!!
    Sorry to hear about your hurt elbow.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  15. Holy Swimming Fish Bat Girl. What a party. What an excuse. What an Elbow. What a woman you are. LOL I'm just glad that you are okay. The party sounded excellent. But as Q said, this whole story sounds a bit Fishy to me as well. But I'll bite and take the hook LOL :)

  16. Oh glad it wasn't worse! I love the fish....

  17. So sorry to hear about the fall, thank goodness you are ok.
    You do remember that you will also turn 50 someday, right? :)

  18. Wow, sucks about the fall and your elbow, but sounds great otherwise! Love the idea of the 50 fish - will have to file that away for my husband's 50th in a few short, cranky years. ;)


    Glad to see you survive,
    life is unpredictable...

    missed you.

  20. Sounds like it was a great party, you know, until the fall! Hope you heal fast - was it your dominant arm?

    And a belated happy birthday to QV! My husband is turning 50 in a year and has become prefacing everything he finds difficult to do with a "I'm almost 50, you know!" By the time he is 50, I'll be sick of that excuse!!

  21. ROFLMBO!!! Ohhhh your QV sounds like a twin to my QD! Our house/yard is not NEARLY so well equipped for parties... and thus the reason QD didn't get one. I DO wish I'd thought of the FISH though! That was a stroke of pure GENIUS!!! I'll get him at 60! If he lives that long!

  22. Lots of fun! What a great way to--(ahem) grow old!

  23. I haven't stayed up til 130 on purpose in forever either but tis because I am ancient as well! Not quite as ancient as QV but close. My Husband is 55 this year I might have to do something just as evil! Thanks for the morning laugh Nessa you should write a column!

  24. Great surprise! Love it. LOL. Happy Belated Birthday to QV. Have a wonderful week, Nessa.

  25. Gosh, what is the matter with me? I'm really glad that you are alright, Nessa.