I'll be fifty years old this October. In honor of this momentous burden, between now and my birthday, I will attempt to come up with fifty useful things I've learned in my time slogging through this mire we call life.
Number One would be the abundant use of irony and sarcasm will get you through the day. I have mastered the high art of saying the words people want to hear while infusing them with my true feelings. It's not easy getting in trouble for your tone of voice (unless you're seven or seventeen) because people are never sure what you are saying when the words are right. Most people are not interested in reading between the lines.
The opposite is true, too. You can say some really silly things and people will only listen to the words and not the intent. For instance, in my first paragraph above, one would think I'm unhappy and downtrodden. I'm actually having quite a jolly time of it and life only keeps getting better. I have a hard time remembering how old I am, mostly because I act like a twelve year old most of the time.
One of the worst things I've ever learned is that you can insult someone to their face without fear of retribution if you say it with a pretty smile and a laugh. This was something I was taught by one of the best salesmen I've ever met.
Number Two would be the importance of learning new things and sharing them with people, even if they don't want to know what you've just learned. I have a Google Account, which is free, and has neat-o stuff to use. For instance, there is Reader which allows you to put in the web addresses of places you like to visit, then it notifies you when the sites are updated. It works for most websites and blogs.
Google also has documents which you can use in your account, with spreadsheets and a word processing area, so you can go on any computer anywhere and work on things. As you can see, the function to add links is really easy to use, as are all of the functions they offer. Adding links in Blogger is easy too. Just click on that thing that looks like a chain link, put in the address and give it a name. One of the things I don't want to learn is how to write code. I'll leave that for people who like acronyms.
I'm not selling things with all of these links, by the way. It's just that I learned that the more links you have the higher a rating you get with search engines, which makes you look more popular and I don't have any friends, so I pretend with my site meter hits.
Oh and I also learned about pinging and Pingoat, where you go and put your blog address or other website a few times a week to let all kinds of places know you updated your site (this is also free.) This is also going to help your popularity, like buying candy for your friends when you were nine.
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