I am depressed. I have been depressed for about a week and a half. I am depressed because of the reasons that I am depressed because I shouldn’t be depressed. I feel like crying.
I am such a control freak that when things don’t go the way I want them to go, I can’t deal with life.
Let me tell you how pathetic I am:
I have two houses. I don’t want two houses. I keep trying to sell one. But of course the market slows down right now. I gave an opportunity to a young person who swore they really wanted to buy a house and then she proceeded to screw up the process, not once, not twice, but three times and now she refuses to sign the release for the escrow she put down. So I’m out two months worth of payments for a house no one is living in.
I have a job that pays me lots of money, but I hate it. It is making my brain hurt, I am so bored. Do I even have a right to bitch because I’m bored? What kind of person does that? Why don’t I change jobs, you ask? Because I’m paying for two damn houses.
I am so tired of the emotional rollercoaster I have been on since March. I am exhausted.
I do know how lucky I am, which is why I hate feeling this way. But I want to move on in some sort of orderly way, damn it. (Can you see me on the floor throwing a temper tantrum?)