Friday, December 16, 2016

some days

Some days, I stand in my kitchen balling my eyes out because the garbage can I just cleaned and sanitized to white perfection has tomato sauce all over the lid.

Some days, my To Do list is so long I want to jab my pen in my head and scramble my brain to mush.

Some days, I lie in bed at night marking, by coughs and groans, the slow death of two men.

Some days, I wonder if I no longer do anything will anyone love me.

Some days, I wonder if I can ever do enough to be loved.

Some days, I forget how to breath.

Some days, the air moves like a dance, twinkling lights draw me into vast galaxies, cinnamon, cloves, rosemary and lemons awaken my dna, a mournful, lyrical chord tightens my chest and my mouth yearns for a kiss.

Some days, I can’t even.

Some days, it’s all too much.


  1. I can relate so much to this. My damn to do list is insurmountable and I'm in love with a ghost.
    I once had a therapist say that this ain't the Disneyland planet. I agreed that he was correct, but said that next time that's where we needed to go.
    You can come too. We need something good and lots of it.

  2. This is one of the most painfully honest pieces I've read in a very long time. I'm sorry, for what it's worth. You will be loved. Are. It's just hard to recognize it in the eyes of the needy.

  3. I'm glad to see somebody still blogging from the old days. Sometimes I miss those times... (VE)

  4. I'm sorry. And although I generally don't say so, somedays it really does feel like too much.